In the Midnight Garden of Nothin' Growin'

What do you do when your garden is a complete and abject totally dismal failure?

You harvest the only two things growing: cherry tomatoes and armloads of mint.

And beg your parents for fresh veggies.

And, instead of wasting water on the sad, sad remains of wasted delinquent plants - you regroup and start planning the fall garden, which will lay the groundwork for the garden next spring.

A quick rehash: my normal garden site was inundated with the Evil Wiregrass. This spring, that site was covered with black plastic to bake out the said Evil. Meanwhile I decided to try straw bale gardening as a temporary solution.

The good news: none of the plants in the straw bales has been eaten by the various bunnies, deer, groundhogs, or neighborhood dogs.

The bad news: it's because the plants are either dying or dead, and not even the groundhogs will touch them.

There comes a time when every gardener should be smart enough to throw in the trowel, and give it up. This would be that time for me.

Straw bale gardening works for a lot of people. Didn't work for me.

Global warming works for a lot of people. Isn't working for me. What should be a May/June growing season has accelerated into a late April/May growing season, followed by two months of searing hot temps. Spare me the "global warming is a myth" emails - I am permanently entrenched in the camp of your opposition, having seen the evidence for my own eyes, for more than a few years.

Even the mint is two months ahead of itself, which considering the lack of rain, is pretty much unexplainable.

The one bright spot is that the cherry tomatoes are all container grown, and are as sweet as they can be.

What's coming out of all this is a decision to cut back on the backyard garden next year and pull the veggies in close to the house, in containers. The big growing space out back is going to be replanted with large herb beds - plants that do well in heat without extra watering (herb is simply code for "weed" after all).

And gourds. That's the third crop that's doing well this summer - the gourds are deliriously happy out there - they *LOVE* the black plastic.

So let me know if you need any birdhouses, dippers, or carved out bowls. I'll have plenty to go around.